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Despondent · Dreams


My mom makes me want to kill myself.

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Dear mom,

You almost make me want to be stupid so that you will love me more. I don't mean to make you feel dumb. Most parents are glad their child is good at math or something. You just get angry because you never made it that far. This is supposedly the part where I say that I'm not going to let you affect me or something to that extent.
But, the truth is, it does affect me. It affects me more then anything. To know that your parent, your mother, is constantly pissed off at you because you're semi smart is heart-wrenching. Absolutley heart-wrenching. I can't even talk to you about it, because then you switch the subject and say how you're proud of me and how you think I act superior around you.
First of all, what the fuck. I spend my nights studying physics and basically mentally killing myself so that I can get a C in a college level class. So that you will be even a little proud of me. When I was little you used to tell me that I was the smart one all the time. And now, I'm the too-smart one, the one who makes you feel dumb. I'm sorry, I just don't know what you expect of me.


I don't know what you want from me!

P.S. - You honestly make me want to kill myself, honestly. No person should have to deal with this situation.

- Jenny.
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